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it's going to be a uber emotional roller coaster for me this week. everyday i'm flooding myself with worries for CB. dunno when's the unfortunate thing that will happen. living days this week is like years. struggling somehow. mood from yesterday til today's morning was all along ... -.- i pity my frens and sbclubbers, they have to see my black face and receive my sucky replies from whatever they say. i know it's bad. but all i can say is that i've tried my best to hide how i feel. normally, when i'm this stressed up, by this time, i'll be screaming and yelling everywhere, attitude-ing every single one who looks at me and all. i've already tamed down alot as compared to last time. i dunno why i'm this stressed up while others can just like this. the prob lies with me myself. i've been thinking far too much. expecting every single bad thing to happen. i rather be like this, i never had high expectations for cb. i know it will suck somehow. i'm not expecting anything more than peace. i'm learning to let go, being to tense up is never good. yes, i not been letting things of my wrist. i try to squeeze my wrist to th max. i need to let go my fingers and little. not to let so much little things affect my life. to be frank, sb is not my life. i dun owe anyone a living. i need to control my life, its totally outta control now. i really have multiple personalities, many peishans. sorry to frens ard me, have to tolerate me. that's because i dunno who i am really. so i cant display my real me..

lesson learnt:
learn to let go..