i will miss him. hees.

i wanna eat them!

i wanna dye my hair black or blue black.
i wanna cut my hair.
i wanna highlight my hair.
i want more clothings.
i want flip flops. preferably from NUM.
i wanna get rid of my eye bags and dark circles.
i wanna get more sleep.
i want clubbing before school starts.
i want a new bag.
i want new pumps.
i want to buy contact lens.

going
on
and
on
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

<3 <3 <3

hmmm.
THANKS to vivian for this new blog skin!!
althou i've changed my pic and those colours. but i wouldnt know how to change without her template. hees. thanks alot!

alright. i'm going for a 5 dae 4 night camp from sat to wed. it's school of business freshmen orientation camp. oh man. i know i'm not going to sleep.
but i reali do hope that i will enjoy the camp. somehow, sometimes i feel insignificant... anywaes, i dun wanna talk much bout it.
hees. althou i know nobody will miss me, but somewhere, there will be someone who will miss me. LOLS. i'm just trying to gain some confidence by saying all these shit. hahas.

hais..

i wanna go out with my frens before school starts..!!

so busy nowadaes! ))):

alright. quite busy these few daes, and coming few weeks. have been busy coming up with the freshmen orientation camp and freshmen orientation program. meetings after meetings. onli avail in the night. hmm.

after meeting todae, went to meet yuhong, wen hao and lyn. lyn working at home fix @ imm. and xs @ amco in imm. oso. hees.couples nowadaes..~ so long never meet wen hao and yuhong. xiao di di lahs. hees. lyn oso veri long never see her. hees. xs oso. went to eat long john and talked. hees. went to yuhong's palces and hear the wonderful conversation between he and his dad. yuhong veri qian ma and qian da. hees. then meet jeremy. hees. bloody hell. nonsense yuhong. cannot stand him. plus that wen hao. all bully me. ): so long then meet up, you all wanan bully me. hees.

then wait for xs to finish work and went home. rounding. and i'm the last person who alighted. lols. but guess wat? saw isaac and tian ji.isaac is my primary school classmate, and tian ji is one of jac's fren that i gotta know on clubbing night. hees. ALL LLIKNKED UP! haas. so fun, knowing new people. hees. (:

went to k box with sisters: jean and jac. from 7pm to 3am. thanks andy for the bill cut. hees. and the membership card. without that, we wun be able to happily enjoying our home sweet time there. lols. we talked bout everything. hahas. and we tot we are bitchy. haas.

thanks to shirlyn, xuansheng, simin, david, weixiang, kexin, choon ngee, hockyong, alfred, xue yan to celebrate my belated birthdae. not forgetting, butter, weiloong, kokheng, edwin, kaitai, zhongyang, ruixing, wee boon, zhen ming, camen for the time spent at halo bar.

went to DXO with jac, jean and jac's many-frens. lols. coincidentially, saw alvin ng kim tian and company there, plus.. wee chong and his frens, and saw butter's last time ders 'admirer'? hahas. no lahs. his gan mei mei there.

the world is so small. jac's guy frens are from jss and all of them happen to know my best bud in poly, khay mar. one of them ders ex is my fren in gems class. another one of them is aileen's (last time hua yi de) boyfren. and my fren know this guy as he's his classmate. melissa's (jac's fren) frens are wee chong's frens. and on the other hand, jean's frens (alvin ng they all) are there, and jac and i oso know them. lols. and we were like the four pathetic girls there. surrounded by our diff grps of frens on the dancefloor. moving from one place and another, lookking for guy frens. lols. to prevent unpleasant things to happen. there are times where some ppl wanted to squeeze in,, but you know, we rescued each other. hees.

it's my first time there, like wat khay mar said, virgin trip. i'm so noob lahs. lols. at first i dun dare to dance, but you know, you'll move to the music automatically at the dancefloor. lols. after a while, we were like sweating already. hees. went to claim the one complimentary drink. onli me and jean are legal to drink alcohol. we were to thirsty to share vodka sprite around without considering jac is still underage. lols. called down by the bouncer. but he gave us one more chance. hees. went to dance, dance, dance, till we look like we just came out from shower. damn warm, stuffy there. and.. not forgetting the stench. sweaty smell. disgusting. lols.

but was veri enjoyable. and saw alot of things. gained some experience there. hees.

ard 2+am, we left the place and went to makansutra to buy drinks. so pathetic. no ice. drank annd headed to nam dai 900+ kopitiam and drink teh ping, chit chatted there. till 6+am. shared cab home with jac's frens. hees.

overall. fun experience. made some new frens too. hees.

these few daes have been staying out late. oh my.. they sae we'll get older like that. hmm.

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

how will life be, without frens? will it be simpler? or more difficult to move on?
will i be able to be isolated from all frens? what if that happens, will i be able to live on? what am i without brothers around me? broken down? already broken down. why am i like this? i'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everydae of my life. why is it that i cannot display my real emotions? why is it that i cant bring myself to do that? what if i do that? what will happen? nobody cares? fuck. life is a pretence. sucks. bottling up problems is reali not a solution. but i just cannot pick myself up to tell my problems. my problems are so childish. so trivial. every little thing in life, i wanan think about. i dun even dare to open up to my trusted brothers. i'm sorry.. cuz i know i'll get scoldings? so many things in life are already in the past. but i'm still holding on to them. i must learn to move on. i dunno how. i'm not perfect. no one is perfect. things that i dun want them to happen, already happened. what can i do? i expected them, but i just cant accept them. things that i want them to happen, did not happen. i know, i shall leave them to fate. but i just cannot. cuz i have this particular belief.
i guess i cant tolerate it anymore. i cant run awae from it anymore. i wanna explode. and i can explode, anytime. i wanna let my hairs down, totally.. but how? i knew it.. the depressing daes are coming back. so many problems i'm thinking at the same time..............................................................................

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
y cant i just live life simply? hais. i wanna let go.............

are you sad?

at least jacqueline (poly) asked. i reali dunno what kind of emotions i'm going thru. it's a mixture of everything. but i alwaes act like nohing happens. until everyone tot that i am alwaes happy. i alwaes tell people not to bottle up emotions. but i myself is setting a veri good example, against that.

todae is the dae that my results were released. i'm okies with the results. as long as i can pass. but the freaking results didnt state which option i'm posted to. please pray that i'll be going into banking option. do i want bound-to-desk job? my classmate asked me before. i dun mind. as long as the job is steady, and has a stable income. i'm okies with it. you know, you can alwaes go pub after work?! (: hahas. but having a diploma in banking and financial services doesnt mean that you'll work in a bank forever..! haas.

i shall not think so much for my future. live as each dae passes.

i am indulging myself in the dreamland of wu zun. hees. my world is full of him. hees. <3 !

i'm numbing myself.

shakespear says: to be or not to be, that's a question..

nice quote right?

NONE OF MY BUSINESS!
y is it that the whole world is is against me?

nvm.
i'll be as optimistic.

life is so complicated.
how i wish i'm a kid,
being so innocent and naive,
expecting coming daes to be forever so fun
knowing nothing and just live on happily,
with all the love from family and frens?

what is the thing(s) that you are regretted of?
been thinking bout this question.
for a long long time.
there are too many to be mention.
too many 'sorry's to be said.
looking back, i was
childish
stubborn
inmature
right now, i am
WHAT..
i dunno..
i know i'll not be ever satisfied
i'll not be ever confident
...
looking ahead, i will
not stop regretting
for the mistakes i have done, i will make.
because no one is perfect,
everyone makes mistakes
the onli diff is that
how big or small the mistake is.

what am i talking about?
guess no one understands,
not even me.

HAPPY BIRTHDAE TO ELLEN!!!!

this is my 100th post in my blog. -.-"

hees. unforgettable 18th birthdae spent with my frens. hees.

was spending the DAY at home. then mum bought my all time favourite, CEREAL PRAWNS! love her <3

0530++ went to meet butter and camen at jurong east. muahahas!!! camen's head kena bird's shit! LOLS! suay kia~ i wore high heels and was taller than butter. hahas. he difinitely dun like talking to me wile standing. hahas. but after taking off my heels, i'll be shorter than him. HMPH! then weiloong and kaifong came. ate pizza hut. then junxian joined us. after meeting kokheng, edwin, ruixing, kexin, and zhen ming went to play pool. met jingwei on train.

headed to raffles place to meet jacqueline, ellen and chinyang. so long never see jac, still as pretty. hees. went to safra town club's pub. then wee boon, xue yan came. 0000, butter bought cakes for the four ladies there. didnt eat much, cuz i scared i'll vomit. sorry for that, butter. hahas. played dice, five-ten-forty five (with nine persons) and dai dee. then drink, drank, DRUNK. hahas. i've never been drunk before. until yesterdae. hahas. i drank dunno-how-many cups of beer, chivas with green tea, chivas ONLI (cake), mixture of beer + green tea + chivas. wahs. DA, DA, DA~~~ wahs... kaifong said 18 years old, must drunk one. hahas. i did. lols. was feeling damn giddy + head veri heavy. hahas. slept like i'll never woke up. hahas. so tired. so weak. THANKS TO BUTTER. cabbed home. some of them who had school, left earlier. thanks!

cant sleep until 0800! i told them i dun wanna go home jiu shi zhe yang. hahas. i haven played enuff.. hees. onli to wake up at 4pm todae. hees. surprisingly, no hangover! hees.

anywaes, it's so unforgettable. i'll not forget. hees. reali big THANKS to these real frens. hees. love you all!