.

fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.

how will life be, without frens? will it be simpler? or more difficult to move on?
will i be able to be isolated from all frens? what if that happens, will i be able to live on? what am i without brothers around me? broken down? already broken down. why am i like this? i'm forced to fake a smile, a laugh everydae of my life. why is it that i cannot display my real emotions? why is it that i cant bring myself to do that? what if i do that? what will happen? nobody cares? fuck. life is a pretence. sucks. bottling up problems is reali not a solution. but i just cannot pick myself up to tell my problems. my problems are so childish. so trivial. every little thing in life, i wanan think about. i dun even dare to open up to my trusted brothers. i'm sorry.. cuz i know i'll get scoldings? so many things in life are already in the past. but i'm still holding on to them. i must learn to move on. i dunno how. i'm not perfect. no one is perfect. things that i dun want them to happen, already happened. what can i do? i expected them, but i just cant accept them. things that i want them to happen, did not happen. i know, i shall leave them to fate. but i just cannot. cuz i have this particular belief.
i guess i cant tolerate it anymore. i cant run awae from it anymore. i wanna explode. and i can explode, anytime. i wanna let my hairs down, totally.. but how? i knew it.. the depressing daes are coming back. so many problems i'm thinking at the same time..............................................................................

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
y cant i just live life simply? hais. i wanna let go.............