.

i wished that everyday's CC would be something like this. at least like this. then i'll be contented.
deleted last entry. cuz i dun wanna create any misunderstandings.

i have no specific identity, i'm difficult to socialise with and understand. i'm unfriendly. i'm unlikable. i just dunno how to make people to like me. i always tot, it's doesnt matter whether people like me anot. but somehow it surely affected me. i'm trying hard. please forgive me for not being pretty. i know its kindaf random, but people ard me just let me have the feeling that appearances matter. and i know that appearance is very impt in life. if you are not pretty, there goes everything. frens, jobs, money, opportunities in life. its the truth. i have to accept it that i'm not pretty. furthermore, i dun have good personality. i got serious attitude problems at anytime of my life. i dun have good temper, no patience. i am not socialable, not friendly, inconsiderate bla bla bla. the list goes on and on, never ending. but when i ask myself, wat are my good points. i dunno. and cant think of any. i want to get rid of my bad points. give me time, give me chance. and i have to give myself a chance.

yes, i am not happy. i always looked happy on the outside. cuz its tiring to be sad. i can tell you all the truth, i am always acting to be happy and am always sad. can i be peishan without acting to be happy? i guess people ard me will surely sense that there is something not right. or maybe they wun know too. cuz they dun care about peishan. but it's ok. at least my family sense the difference in me.

can i be my real self..
who am i..