.

sometimesireallyfeelliketellingyouhowifeellettingyouknowhowimptyouareinmylifeandthatwhateveryoudoaffectsme
ialwayspretendandsoundlikeiwasntaffectediknowimnothingtoyouunlessyouneedsomestuffifel
tlikeimbeingmadeuseofprobablythisishowyoutreatyourfrenssoiamonlyoneofyourmanysillyfrens
watiscontradictingisthatiknowyouarejusttreatingmelikeanyoneelseoneofthemostunimportantonesinyourlifeyetistillalwaystreatedyoumorethanafren
andalwaystryingwaystomakeitcleartoyouhopingthatyou'llunderstandhowifeelyougotnoreactionortryiedtorunawayfromthefact
yesiknowyoualwaystreatthesekindafthingsthswaybutsinceialreadyknowthisishowyousolvethesekindafprobscantyoujusttellmehowyoufeel
orprobablythisisthewayyougavemetheanswerorisitnotclearforyoutoknowdoineedtotellyoustraightoyourfacewhichisgonnatakeloadsofcourage
andihaveneverdonesuchthignsbeforeyouarethefirstinmylife
idunnowhetheryoudidthosethingsadnsaythosewordstoirritatemeonpurposetoletmefeeluncomfortableoryouarejusttreatingmelikeafrenthatyoucanalwaysjokewith
buttherearethingsthatcannotbejokedaroundiguessyoudunnooryouactbluriwantedtotellyouhowifeelbuticantpickupmyselffromdoingallthose
actuallyitsdarnobviousthatthingsarenothtewayithinkitisorthewayitwasitwassoniceandsweetofyoubeforeandnowyoutreatedmetotallydifferently
therewasatimewhereidecidedtogiveyouupandtreatedyoulikehowitreatedothersitsashorttimeanddurngthatshirttimewedidnttalk
andirealisedthaticannotlivelifewithoutadosageofyouandthereifellagainiknowthisisweakbutiratherfellthantopickupagain
cuziknowicantitriedsomuchtobelikelasttimebutyouarenumbikindaftiredoftryingyesiknowtherearealwaysnewpeopleinyourlife
andthatthisisthelifethatyoureleadingidunnoifyoureenjoyingitorwatbutwhenareyousettlingdownorareyougoingtobelikethisforever
yesiamaffectedbyallthesenewpeoplebutialwaysknowthatyouwerentmineneverminesoicantdomuchbuttoseefromafargetmyselfhurtinacorneradnmoveonwithlife
iamrealisillyiknowbuticanthelpitilikeyoubutyoudunknowiknowimnothinginyoureyesbutyouaremyeverythingiknowthisisdumbbutunknowinglyireallycannotcontrolmyself
sometimesireallythinkthatihavewastedthesefewmonthsonyoubutallthistimeiwashopingthatyouwillknowhowifeelandknowthatimalwayshereforyou
imstupidenufftobewillingtodowhateveryouaskedmetoordidntaskedmetoicandoeverythingaslongasyourehappyanditcanexchangetimewithyouaswellasyoursmile
imonlyhopingthatyoucanseemeinyourlifeforoncewilldomaybenotevenonceifnotiwillbeaddictedtoyouonceagainorevenfalldeeper
imrealifeelingnotverygoodwheniseepeopleiknowyoulikeandidunnowatsgoingtohappenbetweenyouallandireallydunwishanythingwillhappen
idundaretothinkwtyoufeelforthembutinevitablyiwishtoknowdeepinsidemyheartsothatyoullstillsomehowstayaroundihavelostyouand
idunwananloseyouagainnomatterasafrenorwatitcanonlybeafrennomorethanafrenrightcanyougivemeacertainanswerorsomehowletmeknow
imfeelingterribletoalwaysbetheonecontributingandinnosenseofhopinganythingbackinreturnimtiredtobeguessinghowyourefeelingandwathappeninginyourlife
buticantcontolmyselftostopthinkingboutyouandyourmanythingsiguessedivefallentoodeeptoolatetobesavedbyanyoneelse
ialwaysnumbmyselfbythinkingboutsomeotherstuffbutmymindwillleadmebacktoyoucanyouletmeatleastwhoamiinyourlifeandyouaretheonethatcansavemenow
nomatterwattheanswerisillstillhavetopickmyselfupandmoveonwithlifebutnowthatyoudidntgivemeaproperanswerandiknowyoualwayshatedthaticantmoveonandimstandingherealone
cantyoudifferentiatehowitreatyouandtheothersareyoublindorareyounotahumanbeinghelloimherehererightbesideyou
purelythinkingofourpastandthepresenticantearnotbecauseitstootouchingbutitssuchagreatdifference
prollythisistheansweroryoutreateverytotherpersonlikethisafteraperiodoftimeafteryousickandtiredofthemiknowimirritatingbutihavetostayaroundyou
sothatiwillnotmissyouyesidomissyouthisisridiculousiknowbutthesekindafthingsithinkeveryoneknowsthatitcantbecontrolledandidunhavesuchgreatdeterminationyougiveyouupcuzidunwantto


i cant believe that it's mst tmr. i'm not feeling prepared and confident. i'll not score well. i just want to get it over and done with. there are far too many things for me to do. this is shit.

tmr: CRAA MST 12.00 - 01.00

*praying*
"uncle tan, sprinkle your holy water on me so i can score well in your subject. lend me your brain during the test. for once, let me be a master of CRAA, i'll burn the lecture notes, mix with water and drink it before i go to the exam hall, bo pi bo pi~"

LOL. i'm crazy already.

tues: BLAW MST 04.30 - 05.30

wed: FF MST 11.30 - 12.30

fri: FMKT MST 08.30 - 09.30

all the best to peishan(: