ai wo de, wo bu ai
bu ai wo de, wo ai.
do you feel the wae i feel? it's diff to know wat you're thinking, i must sae. every second, i think of you. you are sometimes hot, sometimes cold. you ask me to believe you. i did. then you asked me not to believe you, again. it's not the first time. i dunno wat's the purpose of you saying that. but wat do you want me to do? if you ask me not to believe you, i'll be sad. and i know i cannot do it. you can sae it like you spell it. but i just cannot do it. i know it's impossible. but i cannot control falling. i dreamt of you almost every night. i dunno why. is it because i think of you too much? even those things that i shudnt be bothered with, i am being bothered with. i can do everything for you. even if it's not my old self. i know this is no good. but i dunno y i will do that. at least, it's not veri serious. i'll feel weird without you. you've became a part of life i shud sae. but is it vice versa? no, i think. i shared with you some of my romantic and sweet experiences i will have with my bf/ the person i like. tell me the truth, did you ever love me? lot of tots to be cont'd..~
Saturday, May 05, 2007
mondae; celebration of kai fong's bdae
after school, went to play badminton with my beloved sb peeps. thou onli a few of us playing badminton. but i enjoyed myself! thanks to nic, guo hua, jin hong, li fen, kai yin, you wei and juan hui. hees. gotta leave earlier. cuz have to meet up with jac to go safra. reached there.. catch up with one another and slack. went home.
tuesdae; labour day.
went to sentosa with sb peeps. namely: guoquan, nic, ben, mingjian, juan hui, amannda, mardiah, kaiyin, and me! played ball and played in the water as well. then it began to rain. again (it's the every-time thing -.-). went to wash up and headed to vivo. watched letters from death. it's a thai horror show. if yyou know me well enuff, you wun wanna go watch horror movie with me. haha. my frens alwaes sae that i waste money watching horror movie. cuz i normally cover my eyes and ears. haha. but i manage to peep kaes? anywaes, mardiah and mingjian was sitting beside me. mardiah damn man. mingjian's the opposite. it's quite scary at first. and stupid mingjian scare me by banging into me when he was frightened. hahas. and thruout the whole movie, i was screaming followed by luffing after that. even after the movie, icannot stop luffing. haha. i dunno y. cuz i think it's veri stupid of me to be frightened by those stupid scenes. hahas. went home after that.
wed; i forgot what happened.
i think i skipped the first lesson. and onli went for two hours of lesson.
thurs; second management committee meeting.
until wed night then i knew that the meeting was brought forward. and i haven prepare the things that i need to do. damn. was reading thru everything. so after the last lec, met up with FRB, wich comprises of nic, guo quan, glen, ivan, ben, and the rest, i cant remember well. hahas. met up with laurel too. walked to sac.haha. i was luffing all the wae from sb to there. all thanks to them ah. hahas. filled my life with colours and laughter. anywaes, hope everything sounded and seem fine during the meeting. after that, met up with them and went home tgt. hahas.
fri; UNLUCKY day.
after school, met up with melissa, kai yin and joyce. hees. went to clubhouse, changed and got ready for some exercise. then STH happened. but still managed to play a little. omg. i think i got tired too easily. after awhile of exercise. hahas. nvm. my eyes were infected by CONTACTS, i think. and i ttook them out. wore my specs that made mee look like a goondoo ard orchard. omg. throw face. went to far east plaza and watched mr calob's performance. hosted by maia, the spore idol contestant. i once liked her. i even got her album. -.- anw, we sat in the middle of the road. hahas. he's veri cool. nobody will know that he's actuali a lecturer if no one reveals the truth. hees. ivan said mr calob can actuali use his tongue to play the guitar. were expecting him to do that ytd, but he didnt. after his performance, we went to eat ramen and went home after that. hees. tot everything will be fine.
i have to sae sth! i was damn bloody pissed off ytd! my ez link card had been RETAINED just because it didnt have enuff value! i forgot that my ez link card had got negative value. and the ez link machine obviously alarmed off. i paid 1 dolllar cash when it's onli supposed to be 0.65 cents. nvm. then this stupid uncle wanted to check my ez link card. i let him check and he scanned it against the ez link card machine again. his system reads like this 'invalid adult concession...' and he passed my a piece of small paper. asked me to call the centre after 5 WORKING daes. and he retained my card. wtf? i asked him once again why it cannot be used. he repeated the steps above. bastook. his attitude totally sucks and i cannot tolerate that. he onli said 2 sentances to me. and i felt totally 'wtf?'. i dun wanan embarrass him and myself on the bus. but i'm sure i'm NOT gonna be polite when i call the centre.
bus number: 198
plate number: 7323
board the bus at: 10.30pm or 11.30pm?
I'M ANGRY!
wanna get someone to talk to oso cannot. hp is LOW BATT + FAULTY. cant stand it anymore. after bathing, slept. didnt even wait for hair to dry.
after school, went to play badminton with my beloved sb peeps. thou onli a few of us playing badminton. but i enjoyed myself! thanks to nic, guo hua, jin hong, li fen, kai yin, you wei and juan hui. hees. gotta leave earlier. cuz have to meet up with jac to go safra. reached there.. catch up with one another and slack. went home.
tuesdae; labour day.
went to sentosa with sb peeps. namely: guoquan, nic, ben, mingjian, juan hui, amannda, mardiah, kaiyin, and me! played ball and played in the water as well. then it began to rain. again (it's the every-time thing -.-). went to wash up and headed to vivo. watched letters from death. it's a thai horror show. if yyou know me well enuff, you wun wanna go watch horror movie with me. haha. my frens alwaes sae that i waste money watching horror movie. cuz i normally cover my eyes and ears. haha. but i manage to peep kaes? anywaes, mardiah and mingjian was sitting beside me. mardiah damn man. mingjian's the opposite. it's quite scary at first. and stupid mingjian scare me by banging into me when he was frightened. hahas. and thruout the whole movie, i was screaming followed by luffing after that. even after the movie, icannot stop luffing. haha. i dunno y. cuz i think it's veri stupid of me to be frightened by those stupid scenes. hahas. went home after that.
wed; i forgot what happened.
i think i skipped the first lesson. and onli went for two hours of lesson.
thurs; second management committee meeting.
until wed night then i knew that the meeting was brought forward. and i haven prepare the things that i need to do. damn. was reading thru everything. so after the last lec, met up with FRB, wich comprises of nic, guo quan, glen, ivan, ben, and the rest, i cant remember well. hahas. met up with laurel too. walked to sac.haha. i was luffing all the wae from sb to there. all thanks to them ah. hahas. filled my life with colours and laughter. anywaes, hope everything sounded and seem fine during the meeting. after that, met up with them and went home tgt. hahas.
fri; UNLUCKY day.
after school, met up with melissa, kai yin and joyce. hees. went to clubhouse, changed and got ready for some exercise. then STH happened. but still managed to play a little. omg. i think i got tired too easily. after awhile of exercise. hahas. nvm. my eyes were infected by CONTACTS, i think. and i ttook them out. wore my specs that made mee look like a goondoo ard orchard. omg. throw face. went to far east plaza and watched mr calob's performance. hosted by maia, the spore idol contestant. i once liked her. i even got her album. -.- anw, we sat in the middle of the road. hahas. he's veri cool. nobody will know that he's actuali a lecturer if no one reveals the truth. hees. ivan said mr calob can actuali use his tongue to play the guitar. were expecting him to do that ytd, but he didnt. after his performance, we went to eat ramen and went home after that. hees. tot everything will be fine.
i have to sae sth! i was damn bloody pissed off ytd! my ez link card had been RETAINED just because it didnt have enuff value! i forgot that my ez link card had got negative value. and the ez link machine obviously alarmed off. i paid 1 dolllar cash when it's onli supposed to be 0.65 cents. nvm. then this stupid uncle wanted to check my ez link card. i let him check and he scanned it against the ez link card machine again. his system reads like this 'invalid adult concession...' and he passed my a piece of small paper. asked me to call the centre after 5 WORKING daes. and he retained my card. wtf? i asked him once again why it cannot be used. he repeated the steps above. bastook. his attitude totally sucks and i cannot tolerate that. he onli said 2 sentances to me. and i felt totally 'wtf?'. i dun wanan embarrass him and myself on the bus. but i'm sure i'm NOT gonna be polite when i call the centre.
bus number: 198
plate number: 7323
board the bus at: 10.30pm or 11.30pm?
I'M ANGRY!
wanna get someone to talk to oso cannot. hp is LOW BATT + FAULTY. cant stand it anymore. after bathing, slept. didnt even wait for hair to dry.
Friday, April 27, 2007
i just cannot make it on thursdae and fridae.
thurs started at 9am. first lesson is MA I practical. oh man. when i woke up it's like already 8.30. so i decided not to go then. since i'll be late and i'm afraid of the tutor. mr miranda. haha. so went to fa lec after that. thurs is one of those daes that i 'look forward' to. cuz it's all filled up with combined lectures. i can get to see alot of ppl. hees. my beloved sb club peeps. hees. but it's damn tiring and turn off to have four lectures in a dae. and i'm lack of sleep. haha. my eye circles and eye bags are getting worse to worst! HELP!
todae. class started at 8am. guess wat. i woke up at 6.30am and tot that i've got loads of time. bathed, prepared and ate my breakfast slowly. after eating, i realised it's already 7.45am. wth! i rushed to board a train. and alighted at the next station at lakeside. lols. WHY? cuz i know i'm gonan be late and the teacher, mr cornad de souza, if i get his name correctly, said that he'll not markk us present once we are late. so might as well dun go. since jac is not going as well. hahas. khay mar called and she's still at home, wanting to come out, then i told her not to go already. cuz it'll make no diff in our attendance. lols. so we didnt go and i went back to boon lay, took bus and slept again. hahas. woke up and headed to school again.
RWPS, i have to sae sth, i reali admire my lecturer for RWPS, he is kenneth tan. at first, i tot that he'll be quite strict cuz his eng is damn fluent and has this ang moh accent. and i tot he cannot tolerate singlish that i'm quite fluent at. no lec notes for this module. and i practically dozed off at his first two lessons. language is not my piece of cake.
but but but.
he's funny. he shares with us his life experiences and relate himself to us. he actuali shared with us his personal life experiences. reali personal. because i dunno if i shud share this in the www, i think it'll be better that i'll just keep it to myself. and my class. i reali admire him. he is so strong. he is so optimistic. not onli is he strong, his wife, and his son are oso strong. i need to sae that i feel lucky enuff to be here, leading a normal and simple life. it may not be fulfiling, but at least i'm here. as a well living person. khay mar, jac and i actuali cried after listening to his experience, and we had so much to sae afetr that. his class is no longer like a normal lesson onli. it's so inspirational.
if onli every lesson can be like that, i think all students will be contented with wat we have in life. it'll not be so academic based. it'll be much more fulfiling and meaningful.
(:
had first ex co meeting todae. the year ones are great. better than me, i think. hahas. i have to get everything done by next ex co meeting. soemone please help me!
after that, went to jp. bought sports shoes already! hahas. can play sports like free! i wanna be more healthy. after the great experience during the bball dae. even thou it;s so short, and i never reali play. i felt refreshed after that. maybe at least once per week i shall exercise. any form of exercise. badminton? bball? i onliknow this two at the moment. hees. exercise includes shopping? this, i know the best! hahas.
thurs started at 9am. first lesson is MA I practical. oh man. when i woke up it's like already 8.30. so i decided not to go then. since i'll be late and i'm afraid of the tutor. mr miranda. haha. so went to fa lec after that. thurs is one of those daes that i 'look forward' to. cuz it's all filled up with combined lectures. i can get to see alot of ppl. hees. my beloved sb club peeps. hees. but it's damn tiring and turn off to have four lectures in a dae. and i'm lack of sleep. haha. my eye circles and eye bags are getting worse to worst! HELP!
todae. class started at 8am. guess wat. i woke up at 6.30am and tot that i've got loads of time. bathed, prepared and ate my breakfast slowly. after eating, i realised it's already 7.45am. wth! i rushed to board a train. and alighted at the next station at lakeside. lols. WHY? cuz i know i'm gonan be late and the teacher, mr cornad de souza, if i get his name correctly, said that he'll not markk us present once we are late. so might as well dun go. since jac is not going as well. hahas. khay mar called and she's still at home, wanting to come out, then i told her not to go already. cuz it'll make no diff in our attendance. lols. so we didnt go and i went back to boon lay, took bus and slept again. hahas. woke up and headed to school again.
RWPS, i have to sae sth, i reali admire my lecturer for RWPS, he is kenneth tan. at first, i tot that he'll be quite strict cuz his eng is damn fluent and has this ang moh accent. and i tot he cannot tolerate singlish that i'm quite fluent at. no lec notes for this module. and i practically dozed off at his first two lessons. language is not my piece of cake.
but but but.
he's funny. he shares with us his life experiences and relate himself to us. he actuali shared with us his personal life experiences. reali personal. because i dunno if i shud share this in the www, i think it'll be better that i'll just keep it to myself. and my class. i reali admire him. he is so strong. he is so optimistic. not onli is he strong, his wife, and his son are oso strong. i need to sae that i feel lucky enuff to be here, leading a normal and simple life. it may not be fulfiling, but at least i'm here. as a well living person. khay mar, jac and i actuali cried after listening to his experience, and we had so much to sae afetr that. his class is no longer like a normal lesson onli. it's so inspirational.
if onli every lesson can be like that, i think all students will be contented with wat we have in life. it'll not be so academic based. it'll be much more fulfiling and meaningful.
(:
had first ex co meeting todae. the year ones are great. better than me, i think. hahas. i have to get everything done by next ex co meeting. soemone please help me!
after that, went to jp. bought sports shoes already! hahas. can play sports like free! i wanna be more healthy. after the great experience during the bball dae. even thou it;s so short, and i never reali play. i felt refreshed after that. maybe at least once per week i shall exercise. any form of exercise. badminton? bball? i onliknow this two at the moment. hees. exercise includes shopping? this, i know the best! hahas.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
mondae.
was late. and coincidentally, khay mar was oso late. so we went into the lec theatre tgt. if not, it'll be damn embarassing. had the 'feel' to go shopping. so the bunch of us went to bugis after school ends at 3. shopped shopped shopped. spent 40 bucks in less than 15 mins. and got this model agency again. trying to approach us to go for interview. they called me and i turned them down. i'm a 'play safe' person. hees.
tues.
was late again. and i'm worried the whole dae. cuz of the interview later on during the dae. gonna be interviewed by advisors. omg. what would they ask? will they be approved of me? i'm so blur. i'm having serious STM. i'm not that capable. anw, i end at 2+ and the interview was at 4. so i had so much time. if i know, i would crash guoquan's lec with mingjian. haha. i was slacking in library when i saw mark, shyanne, guo hua. and all of them were like trying to cool me down and give me some encouragement. cuz i'm damn scared. lols. 4pm drawn near. and i went to mr c's room. alone. ivan's not there. faints. then mr david tan came in and interview started. onli a few questions. and i'm in?! lols. scary. treasurer indeed. tough tough job. damn. nvm. i believe i can. -.-
gotta know that they (sb club peeps) were playing badminton. went to find them. and i wanted to play so much! but i was in the wrong attire. lols. later i fall. jiu pai sehs. watched bball trial. hees. 7 my fav. number i mean. definitely not the person. LOLS. then went to jp and makan'ed' and arcade'd'. saw simin there. talked, played, walked, shopped. ian is damn zai in playing the drum thingy. lols. i'm zai in playing the bball machine kaes? lols. like real. played till 9+ then go home kaes? everyone's so shagged.
wed.
was late again. my sister, wong mei shan's, lesson. drama happened todae in class. hmm. but nvm. break. i onli had 15 min for me to eat. if you are someone who knows how 'fast' i eat, you shud know how 'enjoyable' the meal is. stupid fc is soo pack. like tuna. so we got ourselves seats outside the photocopy shop again. the stupid chicken rice's queue was damn long. our patience had reached our limits, and we decided to buy from indian store instead. but, we were like so close to the store already. so we sticked with chicken rice. but i managed to finish within 15mins kaes? *claps* plus, i ate khay mar's muffins, she baked it herself. guys, she's fantastic. i fall in love with her after eating her muffins. hees. i have to learn from her somedae. and bake for my future husband. LOLS. think he'll have serious digestion probs after eating. lols.
had rwps and i'm practically sleeping with my eyes open. hahas. and i was waiting for the fire drill to ring asap. finally, it rang. we were like the first class to move out the classroom. cuz a few of us wanted to go to the washroom. lols. we were taking our own sweet time to the sports complex. lols. so lame. there were laminated labels for blocks. like 'block 22 level 4'. these were printed on big pieces of papers and laminated. pasted on the bench and we sat there. waited. and we wondered if reali there is a fire, will they have enuff time to paste those labels on the benches? anw, we acted amart by reading financial times while waiting. dismissed. waste time. lame.
went to fc 5's flea market. nothing there. hees. saw ed and cn before meeting the sb ppl for bball. talked talked talked. haha. saw xs and ed shouted for him. i said hi. hees. so frenly. haha. anw, they were there for watching the soccer trial. cuter guys there. lols. no la. =X
met them. and li fen, melissa and me took a ball ourselves from clubhouse and played ABCDEFGHIJ. i'm so.. lousy. hees. so long never do sports. fat'ted'. old'ed'. ahh. we also played in the rain. so fun. lols.
peishan, peishan. get a life!
was late. and coincidentally, khay mar was oso late. so we went into the lec theatre tgt. if not, it'll be damn embarassing. had the 'feel' to go shopping. so the bunch of us went to bugis after school ends at 3. shopped shopped shopped. spent 40 bucks in less than 15 mins. and got this model agency again. trying to approach us to go for interview. they called me and i turned them down. i'm a 'play safe' person. hees.
tues.
was late again. and i'm worried the whole dae. cuz of the interview later on during the dae. gonna be interviewed by advisors. omg. what would they ask? will they be approved of me? i'm so blur. i'm having serious STM. i'm not that capable. anw, i end at 2+ and the interview was at 4. so i had so much time. if i know, i would crash guoquan's lec with mingjian. haha. i was slacking in library when i saw mark, shyanne, guo hua. and all of them were like trying to cool me down and give me some encouragement. cuz i'm damn scared. lols. 4pm drawn near. and i went to mr c's room. alone. ivan's not there. faints. then mr david tan came in and interview started. onli a few questions. and i'm in?! lols. scary. treasurer indeed. tough tough job. damn. nvm. i believe i can. -.-
gotta know that they (sb club peeps) were playing badminton. went to find them. and i wanted to play so much! but i was in the wrong attire. lols. later i fall. jiu pai sehs. watched bball trial. hees. 7 my fav. number i mean. definitely not the person. LOLS. then went to jp and makan'ed' and arcade'd'. saw simin there. talked, played, walked, shopped. ian is damn zai in playing the drum thingy. lols. i'm zai in playing the bball machine kaes? lols. like real. played till 9+ then go home kaes? everyone's so shagged.
wed.
was late again. my sister, wong mei shan's, lesson. drama happened todae in class. hmm. but nvm. break. i onli had 15 min for me to eat. if you are someone who knows how 'fast' i eat, you shud know how 'enjoyable' the meal is. stupid fc is soo pack. like tuna. so we got ourselves seats outside the photocopy shop again. the stupid chicken rice's queue was damn long. our patience had reached our limits, and we decided to buy from indian store instead. but, we were like so close to the store already. so we sticked with chicken rice. but i managed to finish within 15mins kaes? *claps* plus, i ate khay mar's muffins, she baked it herself. guys, she's fantastic. i fall in love with her after eating her muffins. hees. i have to learn from her somedae. and bake for my future husband. LOLS. think he'll have serious digestion probs after eating. lols.
had rwps and i'm practically sleeping with my eyes open. hahas. and i was waiting for the fire drill to ring asap. finally, it rang. we were like the first class to move out the classroom. cuz a few of us wanted to go to the washroom. lols. we were taking our own sweet time to the sports complex. lols. so lame. there were laminated labels for blocks. like 'block 22 level 4'. these were printed on big pieces of papers and laminated. pasted on the bench and we sat there. waited. and we wondered if reali there is a fire, will they have enuff time to paste those labels on the benches? anw, we acted amart by reading financial times while waiting. dismissed. waste time. lame.
went to fc 5's flea market. nothing there. hees. saw ed and cn before meeting the sb ppl for bball. talked talked talked. haha. saw xs and ed shouted for him. i said hi. hees. so frenly. haha. anw, they were there for watching the soccer trial. cuter guys there. lols. no la. =X
met them. and li fen, melissa and me took a ball ourselves from clubhouse and played ABCDEFGHIJ. i'm so.. lousy. hees. so long never do sports. fat'ted'. old'ed'. ahh. we also played in the rain. so fun. lols.
peishan, peishan. get a life!
Saturday, April 21, 2007
first week of schhol just didnt work for me. i no longer haave the kick to study. watever lecturers and tutors said, i dun understand.
everything's getting tougher and i cant adapt to it. maybe it's because it's been a long long while since i last touched my books.
khay mar and i were sitting tgt during one of the many combined lectures with FT students and we realised that watever the lecturer is saying, we dun understand. that's because of one thing, the world has grown, and we hadnt.
this is scary, i cannot imagine myself studying wat i'm studying now. and i cant make any sense out of them. plus, i need to make money out of them for the rest of my life.
how am i going to carry on my life?
so many things happen lately, the good and the bad. i dunno to believe them anot. how i wish i can reali 'dun give a damn' to some things. but it's definitely harder to act than to sae. i cant do it.
anw, i must sae, ytd i went to sb club's guys playing bball. not forgetting melissa and kai yin. i simply just admire them. and the guys were so cool when playing bball. and it was raining. malissa and i realised how weak we are. and i've decided that i need to exercise more often. hees. but wat to do, i still dunno. haha.
khay mar and i realised that we've got no life. cuz last time we used to be so active in everything. and now? so dead. we've gotta inject juice in our lives man. but how? let see then. hees.
i've decided to join sb club. i certainly hope that will inject juice into my life. hees.
everything's getting tougher and i cant adapt to it. maybe it's because it's been a long long while since i last touched my books.
khay mar and i were sitting tgt during one of the many combined lectures with FT students and we realised that watever the lecturer is saying, we dun understand. that's because of one thing, the world has grown, and we hadnt.
this is scary, i cannot imagine myself studying wat i'm studying now. and i cant make any sense out of them. plus, i need to make money out of them for the rest of my life.
how am i going to carry on my life?
so many things happen lately, the good and the bad. i dunno to believe them anot. how i wish i can reali 'dun give a damn' to some things. but it's definitely harder to act than to sae. i cant do it.
anw, i must sae, ytd i went to sb club's guys playing bball. not forgetting melissa and kai yin. i simply just admire them. and the guys were so cool when playing bball. and it was raining. malissa and i realised how weak we are. and i've decided that i need to exercise more often. hees. but wat to do, i still dunno. haha.
khay mar and i realised that we've got no life. cuz last time we used to be so active in everything. and now? so dead. we've gotta inject juice in our lives man. but how? let see then. hees.
i've decided to join sb club. i certainly hope that will inject juice into my life. hees.
khay mar gave me a link and i took the personality test. and this is so real for the both of us.
You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/
this is the link. if interested, can go try out. (:
You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.
You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.
The situation at this time is one of considerable distress. You feel trapped and you are looking for some way out. You can find solace in the arms of someone who cares so long as there is no long-term emotional involvement.
You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.
You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.
http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg/
this is the link. if interested, can go try out. (:
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