i wished that everyday's CC would be something like this. at least like this. then i'll be contented.
deleted last entry. cuz i dun wanna create any misunderstandings.

i have no specific identity, i'm difficult to socialise with and understand. i'm unfriendly. i'm unlikable. i just dunno how to make people to like me. i always tot, it's doesnt matter whether people like me anot. but somehow it surely affected me. i'm trying hard. please forgive me for not being pretty. i know its kindaf random, but people ard me just let me have the feeling that appearances matter. and i know that appearance is very impt in life. if you are not pretty, there goes everything. frens, jobs, money, opportunities in life. its the truth. i have to accept it that i'm not pretty. furthermore, i dun have good personality. i got serious attitude problems at anytime of my life. i dun have good temper, no patience. i am not socialable, not friendly, inconsiderate bla bla bla. the list goes on and on, never ending. but when i ask myself, wat are my good points. i dunno. and cant think of any. i want to get rid of my bad points. give me time, give me chance. and i have to give myself a chance.

yes, i am not happy. i always looked happy on the outside. cuz its tiring to be sad. i can tell you all the truth, i am always acting to be happy and am always sad. can i be peishan without acting to be happy? i guess people ard me will surely sense that there is something not right. or maybe they wun know too. cuz they dun care about peishan. but it's ok. at least my family sense the difference in me.

can i be my real self..
who am i..

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! i finally took out my upper braces!!!!!!! on thurs, 22/11/07. but i miss my braces now. i think it looks weird having straight teeth on me. LOL. or prolly i cant get used to it yet. and i dunno how to smile now. LOL. pardon me as i have huge scars on my face now. due to my itchy hands. i went to poke my pimples :(
BEFORE & AFTER

alright. i know it's been a long time that i last updated. there are far too much to update. and i've no time and dun have the feel to update. and i'm here because,

i am not feeling good.
i am damn BU SHUANG.

i know you first, she knows you later. you like her, she likes you.

WHAT THE FUCK.

i think you really need me to tell you that 'I LOVE YOU' then you'll know that i love you? you are really dumb. you cant feel it?

WHAT THE FUCK.

i dunno why, whatever happens involving you, i'll be affected. this is no good. i told myself to give you up 1 week ago. but hell no.

WHAT THE FUCK.

i dun say that she likes you for no reason. for wat reason is she willing to do so much? this is sundae. you tell me you tell me. i'm DAMN BLOODY BU SHUANG now.

yes she's pretty, yes she's clever, yes she's kind, yes she's cute, yes she's in love with you, yes she's EVERYTHING, and hell yes, you LIKE HER, TOO.

WHAT THE FUCK.

go ahead la seriously, like means like, dun like means dun like already. can you please bloody dun waste time, yours, hers, and mine -.-

all i feel now is that,

i SHOULD HAVE told you that I LIKE YOU long ago, when TIMES ARE GOOD.

now that you dunno how i feel, you feel for others.

WHAT THE FUCK.

i think i better invest my time in more meaningful stuff, but i will not give you up easily.
not i dun want la. but i know i cant.

nevermind mevermind

just hope that

TIME WILL LET LOVE FADES (this is what you said)

lastly,

WHAT THE FUCK.

alright. i'm gonna be so busy these few weeks and months. i dun like busy lifestyle.

yesterday was a slacky day. i mean DAY. mum woke me up at 2pm. which is damn early. i need serious sleep. my dark eye circles .. hais. then i was like rushing around la. cuz we actually have lots of places to go. then then then plans were cancelled. we are only going to suntec. so we slacked infront of the tv. she wanted to watch starsearch encore. and there, all dressed up and wat, i sat there for more than 3 full hours. neh mind. after reaching suntec, coincidentally saw qianyi and juanhui!!!! SCANDAL! only the both of them!!!! hahhaa. then went to collect stuff and shopped around. bro came with carina. ate pizza hut and it's already 10plus. called jac up for timetable. cuz i lost it. then i realised that i need to do a project!! MACROECONOMICS somemore!! wth. and i chiong'ed' till 4am beofre i sleep. this is shit.

today i tot lesson was at 10 which it's supposed to be 9 -.- this is another shit. i'm becoming so slack now. no no no. i wanna be a nerd. haha. went to school, fmkt lec, went to uncle tan's room to sign proposal for charity bazaar and charity cup. then went to ambrose's MACROECONOMICS lesson. it's the lesson that always causes me to have monday blues. then do project. then went down from sb to saa then from saa to sb again in 15 mins. powderful? eaten. lec. uncle tan's tut. photocopy shop. homed.

i think i'm engaging in stuff that i should not be la. this is so not me. but but but. i need to try out sth new in life.

hmm. will update reflections these few days soon (:

yay!!!!!!!! mst i finally over!!! i need to reward myself for forsaking so much of my precious time doing things i wanna do.

overall i think i'll not score well this mst. but it's over. nothing i can do now.

after mst, was quite fed up. damn stressed up. cuz i need to do alot of things. like for this stupid the mission 4 thingy. anw, no matter how stupid it is, please come and support our team!!! qianyi, peishan and laurel with ming zhu jie mei. your parents shud know them. haha. then ask ur parents along too! details are there. SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!!!

went to film for promotions today. at chinatown. was quite sianned at first. cuz i felt like i'm doing sai job for them. for no money and all. i dun wanna go on national tv. damn paiseh. and i have a breakout la. like.. it's at the wrong time. hahah. but forget it man. just treat it like i'm enjoying before i get too old. haha. they were like asking us to pose la. dunno wat to pose also. anyhow. haha. please dun say us act cute if it turns out to be. LOL. qianyi nad laurel are la. not me. LOL. but i dun mind if you all say that i am. hahahaha.

going to sentosa tmr with girlies!!! wee!!

YES, PEISHAN WANTS TO BE A NERD!

probably i should start wearing specs to school.

then i'll be like ugl'ier' betty. braces + specs.

thou im ugly enuff. LOL

GREAT NEWS:

I'LL BE TAKING OF MY UPPER BRACES ON 22/11/07!!!!!

ARENT YOU EXCITED??!!

I AMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

tmr:

BUSINESS LAW

4.30PM - 5.30PM

anw, today's paper was quite funny. i was smiling while i was reading it. not because it's easy. it's because it has names.

'Pei Suah', 'Chariot', 'Wei Ye'

Pei Suah = ???

Chariot = my classmate, a weird one.

Wei Ye = DBF coursemate, a weird one, too.

i dunno if this is on purpose. but Pei Suah is staying in CONDO, Chariot is a bank's name, and Wei Ye has got a wife. LOL!!

after the papers, my frens were like laughing over Pei Suah, they tot is yours truly. PeiSuaaan is how they call me in SB Club. hahahah. after which we went to FC 4 for lunch and we saw Wei Ye, we burst into laughter. hahahaha.

went to jp for this week's supplies of nissin cup noodles. it's on promotion. 2 for 2.35bucks only. reached home. as much as i wanted to be a nerd, i dun have the 'feel'. LOL.

all i can say is that i'm emotionally unstable now. i am:

- seriously sick, medical term

- random

- anti-social

- crazy one time

- sad the other time

- nerd this time

- attitude that time

please tolerate me. if i change the colour of face in front of you suddenly.

after mst, i need a getaway. i've planned to go to sentosa this sat with girlies(: hope that i can throw everything there and refresh myself. it better be a sunny day this sat!

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i cant believe that it's mst tmr. i'm not feeling prepared and confident. i'll not score well. i just want to get it over and done with. there are far too many things for me to do. this is shit.

tmr: CRAA MST 12.00 - 01.00

*praying*
"uncle tan, sprinkle your holy water on me so i can score well in your subject. lend me your brain during the test. for once, let me be a master of CRAA, i'll burn the lecture notes, mix with water and drink it before i go to the exam hall, bo pi bo pi~"

LOL. i'm crazy already.

tues: BLAW MST 04.30 - 05.30

wed: FF MST 11.30 - 12.30

fri: FMKT MST 08.30 - 09.30

all the best to peishan(:

i've been lazy to blog and been busy with lotsa things. e learning, mst, charity bazaar etc. and i've been sleeping as early as 5am everyday. my dark eyes rings are informidable now. LOL. all i can say is that i didnt make good use of the e learning week to study for mst. been out for like almost everyday except yesterday. that's bad time management.

last saturday: lyn's bdae celebration

went to eat riverside indonesian restaurant at clark quay. walked to robertson quay with a bursting stomach to bar celona. and poped here and there. watched man u vs middlesbrough there. cabbed home with weixiang and hockyong after the first half.

last sunday was spent with mummy and grandma at her place.


monday: IKEA outing with SBC.

we were super noisy there as before we headed for ikea, we went to queensway shopping centre for our MC windbreaker and polo tee. we spent almost 2 hours there in one shop -.-

we were shopping for new furniture and fixtures for our dearest 2nd home, clubhouse. we were too noisy that the personnel actually warned us and we had to split our way. LOL. we took lotsa pics as well.

some spastic ones : THROW FELICIA, and glen lazing under a big piece of leaf as it was a hot day -.-


















normal one but not all were there















tues = lyn's birthday.

went out with her tgt with min to causeway point. had gelare and did some stuff at creative art corner while waiting for min to come. felt like a kid then. LOL. had swensens. it sucks. took some neoprints -.-

wed: clubhouse and SPSU vs SB bball match

went to clubhouse wanting to settle charity bazaar's proposal. and wtf, ms cynthia ang is not there. she went to a meeting. and dunno wat time she'll be back. forget it. watched SPSU vs SB bball. was abit pissed during match. but nvm. it was the best game i'd ever seen. we lost by 11 points. but that's really good, cuz spsu has got a real strong team. not only their bball team members are good, they are damn 'big sized'. except one or two. there are 2 ivps (if i'm not wrong) while our side .. we got real strong team too. but we only have 1 ivp and we are small sized as compared to them. and they played rough. it's like bullying us right? i lost count on how many time sthey actually fell down, elbows here and there, specs flying, and rolling on the floor to snatch ball.. nvm. it's the refree's fault. but it's reali exciting.

went to have botak jones after that. didnt eat as i was darn full. home-d with yilaine, ntoh's girl fren, who coincidentally lived in boon lay as well. she is coincidentally ed's, swensen's, choon ngee's, weixiang's, kenny's blah blah blah primary schoolmate too. you know, hua yi has lots of pioneer pri's kids.

thurs: one and only day at home.

fri: mediacorp day.

stupid ivan went to signed up for the mission 4, channel 8's variety show for the 6 year 2's in sb club. the year 1's are already in the show. we actuallly regretted joining waaaaay before they contacted us. that was because i saw felly's beautiful costume. LOL. anw, there was no way to back out. reached there in 1.5 hours from my house. that's long. i can finish reading 1 chapter of my FF on the way man.

reached there. super sian-ed. guess who's our celebrity. it's ELVIN NG AND JOANNE PEH! yeah right. i think you guys cant guess. they are too .. 'not popular'. lin xiao and miss mole. that's for my group which consisted of me, ivan and guohua. we are team 1. the other team, team 2 - glen, laurel and qianyi, had ming zhu jie mei as their celeb. ok, this is real lame i know. and i dun want to go in the first place. wth. we are going to sell horlicks for goodness sake. our task is to sell kopihor, which is a mixture of kopi and horlicks. can be hot or cold. they said it's nice. who cares. we are also selling hong kong style 'gong zai' mee tgt with kopihor as a set for just $2! sounds like i'm already promoting right. never mind. we'll lose. dun worry. their celeb are popular amg the aunties and uncles. but they are selling horlicks dinosaur with frech toast. which is a more normal breakfast. who will eat MEE in the morning with KOPI+HORLICKS?! but neh mind. you all can try. $2 only.

it's totally a waste of my time. but yes, i did see joanne peh later. she is so tall and thin and tanned. figure is amazing. smile is captivating.

cant you feel how i feel for you?