i woke up damn early todae, 10.30am during non-academic days, for god knows why. i wanted to jog downstairs. but lazy to bathe after coming up. =X i wanted to fix something fulfilling for my own breakfast, but no ingredients and no knowledge on how to. =X
in the end: prepared 3 slices of toasted bread with spread. and a cup of iced milo. -.- so much so in fulfilling. hahas. work on my e learning. manage to finish most of them, i guess. i dunno if i've missed some of them. had to check ard with frens. (:
for those who talked to me on phone, should know that my phone totally sux. it's spoilt. and i've just used it for like 3+ months. went down to causeway's nokia care center with my mum. told the service operator all the probs and there, the phone is gone.
all my messages and deep memories = gone. will not be coming back to me anymore. no matter how, no matter wat. i wanted to keep it. at least to make myself happy? or sad? found no way to keep those precious moments. hais. wat's over is over.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
i have just finished watching 200 pounds beauty. i noe it's kindaf slow. hahas. but it's a great movie! love it. it makes me cry like hell. and makes me sick, literally. nose block! sore throat! oh man. didnt know that touching movies make me sick. i love the slow song in it. it's so meaningful. but i wonder is she reali the one singing the songs? unlike other movies, this one has values to learn from. beauty comes from within. honesty is a virtue. be contented with wat you've got. bla bla bla. anw, i love the guy in the movie. sang jun i love you. he's so handsome and gracious enuf to forgive jenny. arghs!
Thursday, May 17, 2007
i shall explain here.
i rebonded my hair.
not on my own accord. i just merely wanted a haircut. and she started to apply all sorts of white white thing on my hair. i was dumb enuff to think that it's just shampoo or maybe some normal treatment. until i started asking, they told me i'm doing rebonding.
i went there alone. i'm a loner, i must admit. i love being alone. is this good or bad? i tend to be very easy to bully at when i'm alone. and you know, i've got an innocent face. and yes i am innocent. hees. d: and i guessed tat is the reason y i was cheated.
wtf? i'm cheated. i loved my natural straight hair. even thou it could be messy at times. but. i loved it. now, i look like some dumbass with this reali flat hair and short fringe. plus, i dun have even colour on my hair. it's all over the place. one patch one patch. some ppl said it looks like highlight. oh pls, thanks for entertaining and consolling me.
now, my confidence level is negative. before this, i'm at least +0.01/100. now.. -100/100. with much demoralisation from my dearest glen and ivan. THANKS ALOT AH..! you all ruined me! ROAR!!! lol. joking.
i have never got high confidence. i knew it myself. (:
i rebonded my hair.
not on my own accord. i just merely wanted a haircut. and she started to apply all sorts of white white thing on my hair. i was dumb enuff to think that it's just shampoo or maybe some normal treatment. until i started asking, they told me i'm doing rebonding.
i went there alone. i'm a loner, i must admit. i love being alone. is this good or bad? i tend to be very easy to bully at when i'm alone. and you know, i've got an innocent face. and yes i am innocent. hees. d: and i guessed tat is the reason y i was cheated.
wtf? i'm cheated. i loved my natural straight hair. even thou it could be messy at times. but. i loved it. now, i look like some dumbass with this reali flat hair and short fringe. plus, i dun have even colour on my hair. it's all over the place. one patch one patch. some ppl said it looks like highlight. oh pls, thanks for entertaining and consolling me.
now, my confidence level is negative. before this, i'm at least +0.01/100. now.. -100/100. with much demoralisation from my dearest glen and ivan. THANKS ALOT AH..! you all ruined me! ROAR!!! lol. joking.
i have never got high confidence. i knew it myself. (:
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
i dun care, i just need to spill out how i feel, here. if you guys out there are tired of nonsense, then dun read. thanks. save you all the trouble.
i know you wun be able to see these entries. cuz i am basically, nothing, to you.
broken. defeated. numb.give up?
you asked me wat's wrong, i smiled and said 'nothing'. then i turned around and whispered 'everything'.©
told you everything, but it seemed nothing. so near yet so far, that time. not even far, now. all i can do is to look at you from a hidden corner, and reminsce. and that kindaf feeling, i dun think you understand.
goodbyes are the hardest because you know how much you are going to miss someone and there's nothing you can do about it.©
i've tried to walk awae from ur life. i've tried. i've failed. you've succeeded in the context from my life. but there are still trails in my heart. your matters still matter to me. my matters no longer matter to you.
your memories keep me hanging on.©
life is so sweet when you lie next to me.© indirectly.
i'm holding on the a dream that wun come true.©
all i have now are memories. memories that i'll keep in my heart. hoping that things will turn a round. and wish upon the star, that it all can happen once again, for a lifetime. all these memories may be shared by others, some may even have the same feelings as i've got now. but i guess it all dun matter to you now.
love is an excuse to get hurt.©
memorable moments are alwaes short lived.©
now i look back, when and why did you suddenly act so diffly. sometimes i wonder, do you know how i feel. you asked me to tell you. i've told you. and fullstop. that's all folks. everything stops from then. so, wat's the point of telling you? maybe you just wanna let me vomit my emotions to you, and you throw awae watever i told you, on the spot. i doubt you've listened to half of it. maybe you wanan know whether you are in the picture of wat's troubling me. and if yes, that may make you feel better? wtf. sorry, i know i'm paranoid. but all these are possibilities. cuz i dunno wat are you thinking.
sometimes i just think that i'm foolish, silly. being one side. i dunno if you know, i dunno how you think, how you feel, and you wun tell. i wanted to give up, but i cannot. and idun want?
i know you wun be able to see these entries. cuz i am basically, nothing, to you.
broken. defeated. numb.
you asked me wat's wrong, i smiled and said 'nothing'. then i turned around and whispered 'everything'.©
told you everything, but it seemed nothing. so near yet so far, that time. not even far, now. all i can do is to look at you from a hidden corner, and reminsce. and that kindaf feeling, i dun think you understand.
goodbyes are the hardest because you know how much you are going to miss someone and there's nothing you can do about it.©
i've tried to walk awae from ur life. i've tried. i've failed. you've succeeded in the context from my life. but there are still trails in my heart. your matters still matter to me. my matters no longer matter to you.
your memories keep me hanging on.©
life is so sweet when you lie next to me.© indirectly.
i'm holding on the a dream that wun come true.©
all i have now are memories. memories that i'll keep in my heart. hoping that things will turn a round. and wish upon the star, that it all can happen once again, for a lifetime. all these memories may be shared by others, some may even have the same feelings as i've got now. but i guess it all dun matter to you now.
love is an excuse to get hurt.©
memorable moments are alwaes short lived.©
now i look back, when and why did you suddenly act so diffly. sometimes i wonder, do you know how i feel. you asked me to tell you. i've told you. and fullstop. that's all folks. everything stops from then. so, wat's the point of telling you? maybe you just wanna let me vomit my emotions to you, and you throw awae watever i told you, on the spot. i doubt you've listened to half of it. maybe you wanan know whether you are in the picture of wat's troubling me. and if yes, that may make you feel better? wtf. sorry, i know i'm paranoid. but all these are possibilities. cuz i dunno wat are you thinking.
sometimes i just think that i'm foolish, silly. being one side. i dunno if you know, i dunno how you think, how you feel, and you wun tell. i wanted to give up, but i cannot. and i
Sunday, May 06, 2007
hais. guessed i've never felt this wae before.
wat can i sae? you are/it is no longer the same. people change like the blink of our eyes. i think it is quite clear. but it seems that you wanna run awae. or you want me to run awae from you? all i can do is to fake a smile a laugh everydae of my life. and pretend that nothing happens. cuz i dun wanna lose you. i have to carry on with my life no matter wat. i told myself not to affected, but i cant do it. easier to be said than done. it's so hard to understand you. hais..
i'm totally defeated.
shud i,shud i not?
wat can i sae? you are/it is no longer the same. people change like the blink of our eyes. i think it is quite clear. but it seems that you wanna run awae. or you want me to run awae from you? all i can do is to fake a smile a laugh everydae of my life. and pretend that nothing happens. cuz i dun wanna lose you. i have to carry on with my life no matter wat. i told myself not to affected, but i cant do it. easier to be said than done. it's so hard to understand you. hais..
i'm totally defeated.
shud i,shud i not?
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